As the blog title suggests I am trying to deal with the fact my Grandad has Dementia. Well I say dementia, its some kind of Alzheimers diesease only a specific & "special" type apparently - though how some doc can sit there & classify something so nasty as special is beyond me.
Anyhoo it started just before Xmas (isnt that always the way?!) & since I got back from holiday the first week of Jan, its acclerated at an alarming rate. When not in the present he lives in 1957. I duno why his mind chose that particular year as the year of choice but it did. So when he's in 1957 mode, I (his grand daughter) don't exist. Nor does my mam; his daughter, obviously. Its hard, someone you love & remember as being as strong as an ox suddenly becoming this frail old man that doesn't know who you are. I try to joke I'll brush up on my history of 1957 so I'll still be able to talk to him but inside I just want to cry :S
Not only is there the dementia side of things but he's had several mini strokes that have seeming only affected his balance so walking unaided is impossible. This is of course causing a lot of stress on my nana (his wife) as she only has my mam, an only child, to turn too.
This means phone calls at unsocial hours like just after midnight when your asleep to say he's taken a turn for the worse. Everytime I hear the phone at an unusual time I now feel physically sick. Like last night for example. 12.15am the phone went. We knew it was bad. He woke from a sleep unable to speak or breath very well so an ambulance was called. Several hours later the hospital has done every test possible & can't find anything wrong so discharge him at 3am as they are short on beds. Nice of them.
And although he can breathe ok & vaguely speak this morning he's got it into his mind that he & my nana have no money and can't afford to exist. Not true of course but its just amazing how the brain can convince someone that an issue is real when its not... unless he's in 1957 again but then they weren't broke that year either so I don't know where this is all coming from. Neither do the experts apparently.
We just have to muddle on I guess. Needless to say I'm not on top form at work. Plus a colleague is having a hard time of it so I'm being an agony aunt to him while trying to deal with my problems. Hence this blog for although he can open up to me about his feelings & problems I can't say I'm ready to return the favour. Nor do I know if I could even if I wanted to. Saying stuff out loud isn't my thing. Bottling them up til I crack evidently is.
Wow. Think of all the money this blog is going to save me on shrink fees. I can treat myself to some charms for my Pandora bracelet! :D
TJ
